Why Self-Discipline?

Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state.

Imagine what you could accomplish if you could simply get yourself to follow through on your best intentions no matter what. Picture yourself saying to your body, “You’re overweight. Lose 20 pounds.” Without self-discipline that intention won’t become manifest. But with sufficient self-discipline, it’s a done deal. The pinnacle of self-discipline is when you reach the point that when you make a conscious decision, it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll follow through on it.

Self-discipline is one of many personal development tools available to you. Of course it is not a panacea. Nevertheless, the problems which self-discipline can solve are important, and while there are other ways to solve these problems, self-discipline absolutely shreds them. Self-discipline can empower you to overcome any addiction or lose any amount of weight. It can wipe out procrastination, disorder, and ignorance. Within the domain of problems it can solve, self-discipline is simply unmatched. Moreover, it becomes a powerful teammate when combined with other tools like passion, goal-setting, and planning.

Building Self-Discipline

My philosophy of how to build self-discipline is best explained by an analogy. Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you train it, the stronger you become. The less you train it, the weaker you become.

Just as everyone has different muscular strength, we all possess different levels of self-discipline. Everyone has some — if you can hold your breath a few seconds, you have some self-discipline. But not everyone has developed their discipline to the same degree.

Just as it takes muscle to build muscle, it takes self-discipline to build self-discipline.

The way to build self-discipline is analogous to using progressive weight training to build muscle. This means lifting weights that are close to your limit. Note that when you weight train, you lift weights that are within your ability to lift. You push your muscles until they fail, and then you rest.

Similarly, the basic method to build self-discipline is to tackle challenges that you can successfully accomplish but which are near your limit. This doesn’t mean trying something and failing at it every day, nor does it mean staying within your comfort zone. You will gain no strength trying to lift a weight that you cannot budge, nor will you gain strength lifting weights that are too light for you. You must start with weights/challenges that are within your current ability to lift but which are near your limit.

Progressive training means that once you succeed, you increase the challenge. If you keep working out with the same weights, you won’t get any stronger. Similarly, if you fail to challenge yourself in life, you won’t gain any more self-discipline.

Just as most people have very weak muscles compared to how strong they could become with training, most people are very weak in their level of self-discipline.

It’s a mistake to try to push yourself too hard when trying to build self-discipline. If you try to transform your entire life overnight by setting dozens of new goals for yourself and expecting yourself to follow through consistently starting the very next day, you’re almost certain to fail. This is like a person going to the gym for the first time ever and packing 300 pounds on the bench press. You will only look silly.

If you can only lift 10 lbs, you can only lift 10 lbs. There’s no shame in starting where you are. I recall when I began working with a personal trainer several years ago, on my first attempt at doing a barbell shoulder press, I could only lift a 7-lb bar with no weight on it. My shoulders were very weak because I’d never trained them. But within a few months I was up to 60 lbs.

Similarly, if you’re very undisciplined right now, you can still use what little discipline you have to build more. The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets. Challenges that were once impossible for you will eventually seem like child’s play. As you get stronger, the same weights will seem lighter and lighter.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. It won’t help. You’ll only find what you expect to find. If you think you’re weak, everyone else will seem stronger. If you think you’re strong, everyone else will seem weaker. There’s no point in doing this. Simply look at where you are now, and aim to get better as you go forward.

Let’s consider an example.

Suppose you want to develop the ability to do 8 solid hours of work each day, since you know it will make a real difference in your career. I was listening to an audio program this morning that quoted a study saying the average office worker spends 37% of their time in idle socializing, not to mention other vices that chew up more than 50% of work time with unproductive non-work. So there’s plenty of room for improvement.

Perhaps you try to work a solid 8-hour day without succumbing to distractions, and you can only do it once. The next day you fail utterly. That’s OK. You did one rep of 8 hours. Two is too much for you. So cut back a bit. What duration would allow you to successfully do 5 reps (i.e. a whole week)? Could you work with concentration for one hour a day, five days in a row? If you can’t do that, cut back to 30 minutes or whatever you can do. If you succeed (or if you feel that would be too easy), then increase the challenge (i.e. the resistance).

Once you’ve mastered a week at one level, take it up a notch the next week. And continue with this progressive training until you’ve reached your goal.

While analogies like this are never perfect, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one. By raising the bar just a little each week, you stay within your capabilities and grow stronger over time. But when doing weight training, the actual work you do doesn’t mean anything. There’s no intrinsic benefit in lifting a weight up and down — the benefit comes from the muscle growth. However, when building self-discipline, you also get the benefit of the work you’ve done along the way, so that’s even better. It’s great when your training produces something of value AND makes you stronger.

The Power of Positive Difference

A major challenge for young and brilliant professionals is learning to create their ability to influence.  Way too often talented graduates seek influence by demonstrating their knowledge, proving they are right and demanding credit for their smarts.  After all, they spent many years developing their expertise in the hopes that they will be able to make a significant impact on the organization and will be promptly rewarded for it.  However, most organizations don’t provide the right environment for this type of behavior.

Organizations need top performers as they can be a huge force in solving problems, growing the business and reducing cost of operations.  Unfortunately, these high performers engage such opportunities with the mindset that the reward for such accomplishments should be theirs.  While this may seem like a fair assessment, one must realize that employees are hired to help build the organization and provide reward to the stockholders, not solely for themselves.

After numerous attempts to be seen for their expertise, high performers can become discouraged and even demotivated.  Gaining success in their career becomes more challenging as their attitude becomes evident to those around them.  Despite what you can do, a negative attitude is always seen as a bad personal characteristic.  No one cares how it was developed, whether they were treated unfairly or if their efforts constantly went unrewarded.  A bad attitude is still bad.

In an interview with Marshall Goldsmith, I was reminded of the power of a positive attitude.  Marshall shared his thoughts from a recent experience.

“The greatest leaders I’ve ever met are always up, always positive, always focused on the mission and always focused on service.  I had the privilege of having dinner two weeks ago with Alan Mulally, who just won the CEO of the year in the United States.  Alan went into Ford during some very adverse conditions where he did a spectacular job of leading a turnaround.  Instead of becoming down and depressed, he was always focused on service and how to make a positive difference.  He wasn’t focused on whining or himself, he was always focused on what he could do to help others. “

The power to make a positive difference begins with a positive attitude.  Unfortunately, there are many obstacles to sustaining a healthy positive attitude.  The fastest way to overcome these obstacles is to:

1. accept that they exist
2. recognize them,
3. refuse to respond negatively to them, and
4. quickly work around them.

Some of the more common obstacles to your development of a positive attitude and your growth towards making a positive difference are listed below.  Throughout your career, you will encounter many things that will attempt to derail you or slow you down.  It is rare that you will find yourself in a corporate environment that makes personal growth, learning and your career development a priority.  Remember, making money comes first.  Now to that list of obstacles.

• Money comes first – This is what companies want.  If you can help them get more, you’ll be better off.
• Bad managers exist – You’ll find managers who only have their interest at heart and will do just about anything to limit their competition.  You may be smarter, but they’re the boss.
• Companies don’t develop talent – It is unlikely that you’ll find many companies that will hold your hand and guide you to the top.  Besides, most of the people at the top want to stay there.
• Competition will be fierce – With unemployment so high, more people will be seeking greater qualifications and skills.  Then, they’ll be chasing higher level positions too.
• Advanced degrees are entrance tickets – Great knowledge is only a ticket to the game.  It offers no guarantee of anything.  You must use it to accomplish great things for the company and others.

Once you’ve found positive attitude, you can move on to making a positive difference.  High performers have great skill, knowledge and ability.  It is their responsibility to utilize these things to make the world around them a better place.  For example, if I made everyone around me into millionaires, I wouldn’t need to be one.  The positive impact I would have on others would be reciprocated to me in times of need.  Positive difference is creating positive change no matter what the situation or circumstances may be.  It is proactive.  It is deliberate.  It is also difficult and challenging and it will challenge you all throughout your career.  But high performers who’ve found their way aren’t intimidated as they have learned that positive difference will lead them to the achievement of their goals and dreams.

Many thanks to Marshall Goldsmith for sharing his expertise in our recent interview.  You can read more from Marshall in our upcoming eBook series for MBAs.  Stay tuned for their release.

For more advice from Marshall Goldsmith, you can go to www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com.

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Author:

Todd Rhoad, MSEE, MBA is Director at BT Consulting, a career consulting firm in Altanta, and author of “Blitz The Ladder” and the soon to be released “MBA Owner’s Manual.” Todd can be reached at todd.rhoad@blitzteamconsulting.com.

Enjoying Life by letting go of the past

The Power of Letting Go of the past and enjoying life

Letting go of the past is not an easy thing to do. All of us at some point in our lives have held on to past memories. Many of these things that we have had a tendency to hold on to have caused us to have feelings that are not good and I am saying this because I have been through so many ups and downs in my life. Not letting go of the past is also the reason there are so many conflicts in the world and disagreements between nations.

When you hold on to a past memory that is negative, you don’t feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem gets lower. Then everything in your life gets worse. It is like a snowball rolling down a mountain. As the big snowball rolls down the mountain, it increases in speed and intensity until it hits the bottom and becomes a pile of wet snow. Similarly, that’s what will happen to you in your life if you don’t let go of negative past experiences. When you hang on to these negative experiences, they make you feel bad and they won’t allow you the chance to succeed and experience the good things that life has to offer. Holding on to these negative experiences is like holding onto a cup of poison. When I was going through my issues for much of the year 2011, I kept on searching for answers. On the night of November 30, 2011, I was saved by a stranger that I met and talked to for a half hour. I walked away from that conversation feeling so much better. It was as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. All the emotional baggage and anger issues that had bothered me for almost a full year were gone in an instant.

I felt as free as a bird and I still do. I felt like I had the wings to fly. The world and the Universe are smiling at me now as I write this.

The power of this experience allows me now to enjoy life once again with no major issues. Enjoying life is your right because you deserve this. I will be discussing in future posts how to enjoy life more.

Now your next question might be how do I let go of negative past events? How do I make it so that I begin to enjoy life again?  Life experience is the best way to learn how to be mature enough to let go of the negative past events, move forward and enjoy your life again. It is your responsibility to recognize that these events serve no purpose. They hold you back and prevent you from living the kind of life that you want to live. And they certainly do not allow you to attract positive events into your life.

If such as you have a grudge or a problem with a friend because of the way that he or she treated you, do you think that this feeling is going to help you? Having a problem with a friend obviously doesn’t help you. What do you suppose the strategy would be to solve this situation? The strategy would be to think about ways to improve the relationship with your friend if it is possible. Sometimes in friendships, one person wants to go their separate ways and if that happens, the best thing to do is to accept that this happened and move on. Holding on to resentment that you have towards another person is not good human relations. There is no escape from human relations because everywhere that you go, you will be around people. Letting go of a grudge towards a person allows you to have a better life because you will be enjoying life more. A life free of resentment is another step to enjoying life.

The next thing that I would suggest that you do is to focus on what outcome that you want to have happen. As you focus on a desired outcome, then your mind and subconscious mind begin to find ways to help you create something similar to what you are focusing on. All you have to do is just focus on what you want to have happen, have faith that it will happen at the right time, and then be open to accepting the outcome. You really need to trust that you will receive what you focus on. This is the most important part of the process. This is a brief summary of the steps outlined in the movie The Secret.

For example, if you would like to have a cup of coffee, then focus on having that cup of coffee. Make it your intention to attract that cup of coffee that you want. Believe and have faith that the nice, hot cup of coffee will eventually be yours to enjoy. Your mind will come up with ways to help you get that cup of coffee. It is important to relax and have faith in the Universe. Then, be open to accepting that cup of coffee and enjoy it as much as you can.
 
I know that this was a very simple example. You can us this process when you focus on getting anything that you want no matter how big it is. Size does not matter at all to the Universe. The Universe would probably laugh and say “What size? Size doesn’t matter to me. You just ask for what you want and I’ll bring it to you. Just trust me.” That’s how the Universe would communicate if it were a human. This is a Universe that is full of laws and everything that happens in our lives happens because we attract what we focus on with the greatest power and intention. It is my belief that we live in a world where the Universe is very kind to us.

I realize that negative event s happen to everyone. But holding on to memories of negative events or feeling anger towards a friend or someone you know is not worth it. Such memories and feelings create stress and they can make you feel sick in the long term. These situations can create major health problems for you. It takes the experience of living life to come to the realization that holding on to negative memories or bad feelings towards people that we know is not good for us. Such feelings are not good for our physical, mental or emotional health.

From this moment forward, I choose to let go of any anger or resentment towards a person. You can do the same if you really focus on making it a reality. The other choice is to hold on to that resentment which is not good for you. What choice will you make today? I hope it is the choice to let go of the past and enjoy your life.